


Kiss It Better

by Quackyeon



Category: GOT7
Genre: Doctors AU, Friends With Benefits AU, M/M, kinda cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:09:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21749569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quackyeon/pseuds/Quackyeon
Summary: Mark and Jackson have been friends with benefits for years but Mark is more than just a little bit in love with Jackson.
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Comments: 8
Kudos: 140
Collections: JYP JUKEBOX ROUND 2: OF MONSTERS AND MEN





	Kiss It Better

**Author's Note:**

> Written for JYP Jukebox Round 2 and inspired by Soothsayer by Of Monsters and Men
> 
> Okay, So this was a little on the rushed side because what I thought was going to be a quick oneshot turned into this whole idea - and this isn't even all of it because I could not fit it all in one go. Also I made a playlist for this which you can find [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZWk_aRbr-U&list=PLJuTeGQ967WJq_y449CBq3g-3wsDZ1VqW&index=1)
> 
> This is unbeta'd because I'm a mess. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I really hope you enjoy it.

It was always like this, Jackson coming over to him, smelling clean and fresh and just pressing himself again Mark. It was primal, it was just them feeling each other and seeking release. Mark let out a soft gasp against Jackson's lips as they kissed. "Jinyoung." Mark breathed out against Jackson's lips. "Communal area." he managed to interrupt and Jackson nodded, they lived in a shared house, most of them tried to cut costs by living together. Mark laughed a little when Jackson picked him up and carried him up to his room. Mark couldn't help but smile against Jackson's mouth, Jackson put him down and they were quick to strip down, it was always like this. It was always them just getting down to it, it wasn't like they were boyfriends, it wasn't up to them to take care of that part of each other. 

Mark was not entirely sure what Jackson was seeking, he had heard the other had had a rough time at the hospital, apparently someone had come into the ER - Jaebum was a trauma doctor and had been upset about what had happened so all Mark could do is guess that was what was stressing out Jackson. Jackson had gone to get the lube and a condom. Mark stopped him, moving to kiss down his chest, Jackson just watching him. Mark liked it when he caught the other off guard like this, he wasn't expecting Mark to take charge like this, and to lead him. Mark took his time, he loved to tease and who wouldn't want to worship Jackson's body. He looked up and took a small breath, before moving to kiss along Jackson's length, he knew exactly how Jackson liked it, and he was more than happy to give it to him. Jackson's hand was in his hair, giving it a small tug. Mark took him into his mouth and moaned around him, moving his head slowly, taking Jackson in all the way and moaning, Mark had gotten used to taking Jackson all the way in over the years. 

It did not take Jackson long to get bored and to pull Mark up, kissing him hard, pressing him against the wall and slipping his hand between them to slowly start to open Mark, Mark watched him, making small sounds, biting his lip as Jackson mirrored him. He paused when Jackson pushed in another finger, he always hated this bit, he hated the stretch, and Jackson only ever did two fingers - he was just too eager. Mark moved easily when Jackson picked him up, legs wrapping around the others hips. He cried out at the stretch when Jackson pushed in. Mark's fingernails dug into Jackson's shoulders, Jackson moved quickly, setting a harsh pace. 

Mark wished he could take the others pain from him, and this was about as good as it got, about as close as he could get to saving the other from the suffering in his job. Mark cried out, arching his back up slightly, Jackson knew exactly how to roll his hips, he knew perfectly how Mark liked it. Mark ran a hand through his own hair, it was too good, it was too much. "Fuck, Jack, you're almost." Mark said, not able to explain himself, Jackson was so close to hitting that sweet spot but Mark couldn't guide him and then he didn't need to, he let out a screaming moan, "there, Jacks, please." Mark cried out, Mark was normally a quiet, shy person but Jackson could elicit this out of him. Jackson did not hit the sweet spot every time, teasing, allowing Mark to enjoy it more, he did not want to finish to early, and it did get a bit annoying if someone just kept hitting his sweet spot. He pulled Jackson in for a hard kiss, finishing between them, shortly before Jackson's own hips shuddered and he came, all of it caught by the condom. 

Mark held him close as they came down from their shared highs, he kept his legs wrapped around Jackson's waist, keeping him pressed right against him. "Jack" Mark said softly, and Jackson sighed against Mark's skin, Mark combing his fingers through Jackson's hair. "Are you sleeping standing up?" He teased. Part of him wanted to tell Jackson everything, he wanted him to know the truth. He was pulled out of those thoughts when Jackson bit his collarbone, eliciting a whine from Mark himself. "Jack," he whined, not caring how needy he sounded. "Don't get me going again, please." 

"Tired already?" Jackson teased a little walking them to his bed and putting Mark in it, pulling out in the process, Jackson joined him in the bed and Mark hooked his leg around Jackson, they were best friends, who had sex, and that was okay. They'd been doing it since medical school - it was hard to find someone who was free to help with stress relief at three am after rotation. Mark had just been dumb enough to fall in love with Jackson. 

"I'm on call later." Mark mumbled, "and I can't be fucked out." 

"I think what we're doing could be classed as improving the cardiothoracic surgery department." Jackson laughed a little, kissing Mark quickly, and Mark rolled his eyes. "Are you still thinking of specialising neonatal care?" Jackson mumbled, tracing his hand down Mark's side. Mark nodded, he had already spoken to the department head about it. "Mm, I bet all the boys will go crazy for a doctor holding such a small cute baby." 

"Says the literal heart surgeon." 

"Please Mark, all the men love a guy with a baby." 

"Well I will tell you there aren't many single gay dads in the neonatal department." Mark gently pushed Jackson's hair back. "You'd have much better luck." Mark knew that Jackson was pansexual and he was sure that Jackson could get anyone he wanted. "Want to talk about what got you all worked up?" Mark said softly, lying next to the man. He couldn't help but smile when he looked at Jackson, he adored him, he loved him and that was not part of the arrangement but Mark couldn't help himself. 

"Did Jaebum not say? Or did he come in and go straight to cry on Jinyoung's dick?" 

"Ha, like you deal with things any better." Mark said pushing Jackson gently. "Did, you lose someone?" Jackson nodded a little, "I'm sorry Jacks." 

"No, you see, Jaebum called a cardiac consult and by the time I got down there she was flatlining and we couldn't bring her back and her boyfriend was outside just-" Mark kissed Jackson, he knew the other was hurting and he didn't want him to have to relive it. "I could hear his heart breaking when hers stopped." Jackson said quietly when they broke apart. "She was our age." 

"You tried everything Jackson, you can't fix every heart." 

"I know, but she really deserved it." Jackson mumbled, the pair lay looking at each other for a bit, Mark gently tracing shapes on Jackson's arm, it was something he always had done to help the other relax. Jackson let out a slow breath, watching Mark. "When do you start?" 

"We have a few hours." Mark mumbled. Jackson moved to kiss him again, hard, it was lustful and Mark knew where this was going, it was clear that Jackson wanted to take his mind of it, he wanted to be apart from the memory of today and Mark was more than happy to oblige him, despite his earlier protestations. 

Mark lay there, Jackson was asleep and Mark could not help himself but admire him. He loved him, and that much was painfully clear, and he knew the others knew. Yugyeom had once made him drink a shot during never have I ever, for _Never have I ever fallen in love with my best friend._ And yet, Mark was sure that Jackson had not even worked it out, maybe he was better at hiding it than he thought. He knew that he should not love Jackson, they had agreed that they were just friends, that they were just having sex because they could, and because it's hard to date when you are basically married to the hospital but Mark did wonder what it would be like to have it all, what it would be like to have someone he loved love him back. He was certain that he was Jackson, but Jackson was no one's. "I love you." Mark said so softly he doubted that even if Jackson had been awake that he'd have heard him. 

Weeks later Mark experienced a loss of his own, a child - and that was part of working on the ward he worked on, but it still hurt. It still made him burn with the loss, and the parents shouted at him. He tried his best not to break down on them, he tried his best not to cry till he got home. He ran inside, he ran because he did not want the others asking, he did not want them fussing over him. He deserved to suffer, it was his job to look after the boy and yet he had failed. 

Mark didn't look up when he heard the door open, he imagined that it was Jinyoung with some food, he knew the nurse had heard him sobbing in the shower. He was surprised when someone got in the bed behind him and wrapped their strong arms around him. "Mark." Jackson voice was calm, like a lighthouse in the middle of a storm. "I heard what happened." Jackson ran his hand over Mark's side gently. "I know what it's like and I promise I promise you're going to be okay, you're human and you're so loved, you did your best for the little boy." 

Mark hated how safe he felt, he turned in the bed and looked at him. "I lost him."

"I know Mark, I know, I know you tried your best. You did everything you could but he wasn't saved and that happens. But you did the best you could" 

"I should have done better." Mark said trying to stop crying as Jackson started wiping his tears away. 

"Mark, you weren't to know, you did everything." Jackson said softly, "You had a cardiac surgeon in there with you, and what the parents did, what they said to you was uncalled for, I wish I had been there. I'd have told them to back off you." 

"They trusted me to look after their boy." 

"And you did." Jackson said softly, "you did everything you could, you aren't God, none of us are, even though that would make our lives so much easier." Jackson gently stroked the man's hair, "You love the kids you care for so much Mark, I know you would have swapped places with him if you could have - so please, please don't be so hard on yourself." He said softly, "I know it doesn't help, the ones who get their wings stick with you, you can't save everyone, but we keep fighting for the ones we can save." Jackson said moving to allow Mark to lie against him. Mark curled into him, "cry tonight, but tomorrow you get back up and you go help those kids in that hospital ward who need Dr. Tuan to help them." 

Mark nodded, curled against Jackson, trying to fall asleep, he just wanted today to be done. He knew he could not forget this, but he was going to become a better doctor after all of this. He knew that Jackson understood him, he loved him, he wished Jackson could see it, he wished Jackson would just know and would love him back. Jackson must have thought that Mark was asleep finally, he moved to get up but Mark moved to grab his shirt. "Jacks, please can you stay?" 

Jackson stopped, Mark holding his shirt, although he loosened his grip instantly, Mark knew he was asking for too much, they were just sleeping together - they were just having sex, but now, now Mark was asking for something more, he needed the comfort that he could only get from Jackson's scent. Jackson did not speak but he just got into the bed and lay next to Mark, opening his arms for Mark to crawl closer, Mark cuddled into the heart surgeon. He hated how safe this made him feel, he hated that he felt so safe here in Jackson's arms. He wished he could say that his feelings were developing against his will. It was supposed to be just sex, this wasn't supposed to happen. He rested on Jackson's chest and closed his eyes. "Can you stay until I wake up?" Mark said quietly. 

"Mark" Jackson said quietly, hand running through the other's hair, "you can sleep, I'll stay as long as you need." Jackson said quietly. Mark closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep on the man's chest. He hated the swell in his chest, thinking about how much he liked the other man. He hated it, he was in love with someone who just saw him as a sex friend, a best friend, someone to relieve stress with. He just rested against him, falling asleep gently, letting Jackson's scent carry him off. 

He woke up and was relieved to find himself lying on Jackson still, Jackson wasn't asleep, he was scrolling through his phone. Mark watched him for a second and then shifted. Jackson smiled looking at him, "feel any better after that nap?" 

Mark still felt awful, it still ached but he did feel better, like he could work on it, and he could be better, he wanted other children to get the best care, and that meant he had to be at his best. "I don't want to cry under my bed for the rest of my life anymore." 

"Good, you're going to be fine. We're going to get you fed and you're going to feel even better, I promise." Jackson said softly, helping him get up, Mark wanted to tell Jackson that he was able to look after himself and that him being like this was giving Mark false hope. That it was making him think that maybe they could be more than this, more than just friends who occasionally had sex. Well more than occasionally, really. 

Mark managed to get out of it, he managed to get back to work, he managed to work even harder. He just loved his job, he loved his work and he wanted to know that other kids would be safe and he would do his best. Mark looked up, he was sat at the table in the dining room of the shared house, Jinyoung sat down next to him. "You and Jackson have been fucking more often lately." Jinyoung was never one to beat around the bush.

"Please Jinyoung, I heard about you and Jaebum in the on call room." 

"Funny, but we're engaged Mark." Jinyoung said rolling his eyes, "and I'm curious about you two, I was wondering if you two are an item." 

"Haha," Mark said sarcastically, "you know that Jacks and I have been hooking up since med school, we just help each other out - he probably flirts with all the nurses." 

"Mark" Jinyoung said softly, "Do you think I'm dumb, you've been in love with him for years."

"Ah yes, thank you for your insight, I definitely told your boyfriend when I was drunk after I'd offered him a blowjob."

"You offered Jae a blow job?"

"Mhm, in our final year of med school, he was looking after me when I was drunk and I offered to pay him with my mouth." Mark raised a brow, "oh don't look at me like that, he was the perfect gentleman, he said he didn't want me, even if he wasn't with you, apparently he's opposed to drunk blowies." Mark shrugged, "but anyway, I told him, that I loved Jackson and then I passed out on his bed, so I know that he told you. I'm sure you both had a good laugh about it." 

"Mark, I'm not laughing." Jinyoung said quietly. "I just, I want to understand what is happening with you both." 

"Nothing, which is exactly the problem, he just fucks me." 

"Right." Jinyoung said with a small shrug. "What ever you two morons say." 

"Just because you found some hot trauma surgeon to fuck into next year doesn't mean you get to judge me." Mark glared at his friend, "you think it's fucking funny." 

"I- Mark, you've been in love with him for years, and have you ever just thought you might want to tell him how you feel, you don't need to get aggressive about it." 

"You don't understand." Mark said looking at him. "Do you even know how hard it is to love someone who could never look at you like that." Mark said before leaving the room and slamming the door on his way out. 

It was not long after that Mark heard Jackson come in, he wanted to take his mind of everything, to take his mind off of Jinyoung's prying. Jackson was more than happy to oblige, there was no real talking - there never was, and that suited Mark just fine. Jackson did not ask questions and it wasn't long before he had Mark's dick in his hands, licking a stripe up the length of him, moaning around him and leading Mark into a delirium. "I love you, Jackson." Mark breathed out. Jackson stopped instantly looking up at Mark, hands slowly releasing the other. 

"What?" 

Mark sighed, he knew he should not have said it but here they were. Jackson had stopped and was still between Mark's legs but he was looking up at Mark. Mark suddenly felt exposed, like he never had before with Jackson, as if Jackson was able to see right into his soul. "Jack" Mark voice cracked as he tried to keep himself strong. 

"You love me?" 

"It... it was just - it was -" he looked away, he guessed there was no point in lying. "I loved you like since we were first together." Mark said softly, there was no point denying it, but it still made him feel ridiculous. "You just, we just, I don't know." Mark stared at Jackson, it was making him uneasy. "Jacks can you just say something, please." 

"It's supposed to just be sex between us." 

"Yes, I am aware Jackson, I was present when we agreed." 

"Okay." 

"We'e been having consistent sex since we were like twenty one Jack, feelings are bound to happen and it's really okay that you don't love me back. But please, don't make me feel bad for falling in love with you"

"Mark" Jackson said, Mark was already up and pulling his clothing back on. He felt stupid and he could not just sit there and watch Jackson just stare at him. He stopped when he was at the door and looked back at Jackson. 

"It really is okay that you don't love me." Mark said softly, "you followed the rules and were able to just keep it at sex, and we have amazing sex, I'm sorry that I fucked it all up by falling in love with you." Mark left and tried his best not to run to his own room and slam the door, locking it after himself and throwing himself onto the bed. He stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore his phone buzzing. He did not care who in the house had heard him embarrass himself, he just wanted to leave and pretend that none of this had happened. He knew he was a fool, so he just wanted to wallow in his own self-pity. He was angry when there was a knock a the door. "Go away, I'm trying to sleep." 

"I know you're lying." It was Youngjae, Mark rolled his eyes, the last think he needed was Youngjae, he was a resident psychiatric doctor and the last thing Mark needed was for someone to tell him how he was feeling - he needed someone to tell him how to stop feeling. "Can you unlock the door and let me in, please Mark." 

"I don't want a psych consult." 

"I'm not coming in as a doctor, Markie, I'm coming in as your roommate from the dorms, who you used to tell your secrets to until you and Jackson went into your own world. 

"Jae" Mark said softly, unlocking the door and letting the man in. He moved to bring Youngjae to his bed and they both got in and cuddled together. "I accidentally told him I love him." Mark said with a softness that was really just because he couldn't think about it or he would cry again. "and he just looked at me like I'd spoken alien, you think I don't know it's dumb, because I do, really. Why would he love me back?" 

"I really thought he did." Youngae said softly, "I really thought you two were going to be together, for the rest of your lives, you both light up around each other, like you're both halves of a whole. I don't understand how he can ell himself that he doesn't love you, when you two are beyond made for each other." 

"Not if he doesn't love me." Mark said curling up to Youngjae tighter. "I don't want to waste my love." 

"I know, but you can't change him, only yourself." the other doctor sighted, "it's like Wonpil hyung, he was in love with Nayeon for years and she's with Jeongyeon, sometimes our hearts fuck with us." Mark knew that Youngjae had been in love with Jaebum since first year, so Mark knew that Youngjae understood what it was like to love someone who did not feel the same way back. "Jackson would be lucky to have you." Mark just nodded and curled up closer to Youngjae, allowing himself to fall asleep. 

What he had not expected was to wake up alone in the bed, with Jackson sat at his desk looking over the pictures and books. "Why are you here?" Mark said quietly. 

"You ran out of the room, was I supposed to just be okay with that? Not usually how people leave my room when I'm going down on them." 

Mark just nodded, "Yes, well, I'm sorry to disappoint you." He couldn't help himself, pulling his knees up to his chest, watching Jackson. "I was just embarrassed." 

"Embarrassed that you love me?" Jackson said with a raised brow. "Well you wouldn't be the first man embarrassed to be in love with me." 

Mark shifted slightly, he had known Jackson had had a boyfriend before they went to med school, someone back in Hong Kong and he guessed that Jackson was running from it - but he had never asked, it was not really important. Just like Mark did not share that his first hand job was around the back of a Mcdonald's. "Jacks, I'm not embarrassed of it being you. I'm embarrassed that I love you when we made that deal - and then you don't love me back, oh and then I literally said, I love you while your mouth was on my dick and made everything weird." Mark only shut up when Jackson moved to sit on the bed, moving to shift under the covers.

"I didn't say I didn't love you?" 

"You didn't say you did." Mark said quietly, watching Jackson as they sat together like this. 

"My ex fucked me up." Jackson said moving to fix Mark's hair. "That's why I didn't want to fall in love. I just thought that I could save myself from getting hurt." Mark smiled a little, "Mark, I'm being serious, what is there to laugh about?" 

"Just, you fix all these hearts, but you can't fix yours." Mark said softly, resting his hand flat over Jackson's heart. 

"No, I think maybe my heart is a baby, it might need a neo-natal doctor to heal it." Mark couldn't help his smile at Jackson's words. "Do you know a good one?"


End file.
